Marriage of hope

It is so hard for couples to move forward without the looking backwards.  We develop a mental script that makes us unable to see beyond the past hurts, pains and infractions inflicted on us by our spouse.  This in my opinion is a path to nowhere!  We can not move forward while looking backwards.  This is how we recreate the past by living in it.  Many a couple has become stuck in this futile dance only to lose themselves and their marriage.   There is a better way.

God directs us in a new direction in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight".  The path of marriage is only straight when we trust in the Lord, and His plan for our lives.  This trust goes before our fears.  It goes beyond our understanding.  You see our understanding in relationships is often about the past and what we have learned from the past (good or bad).  But God knows the future, and what you and your spouse are capable of.  To trust Him is to hope on something better, and to believe in a brighter future with your spouse.

Many couples struggle with how to trust beyond those overwhelming memories of past hurt and pain.  My advice has always been to "take your thoughts captive".  Each of us has total control over our thoughts, we just choose not to think in a way that is healthy.  Philippians 4:8, "Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things".  Now go dwell on a happy and healthy marriage!

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